We have a tie this time between two authors who have received equal votes (11 each) that’s why I am featuring both.
First featured author is the blogger from http://mycrookedmoments.wordpress.com
About the Author:
“I’m not a pet blogger but I have had my fair share of quirky pet experiences over the years, even though yes, my family does not own a dog/cat/horse/bird/snake/lizard/turtle except yes, we do have a fish.
We prefer to do the lazy route, which is what I like to call the Rent-A-Dog, where we just take care of other people’s dogs when they are on vacation. I write because I’m one of those teenagers that seem to be the target of every single worst moment a teenager can experience.
So in order to deal with it, I’ll blog about it to share with everyone that if they feel sad/awkward/embarrassed about something, they’ll always know that there’s someone out there that experiences worse.
Me. I’ve been writing since the age of ten, like little stories and such, but I just started blogging this summer, and I love how rewarding it is. “
Here is her post (UN-EDITED) which was liked by majority of readers (About 40 %):
Crazy! Me or the dog?
Just recently, my family have taken on the responsibility of taking care of a dear friend of the family’s pet dog. Our friends are gone on a month long trip to France, and since they cannot take their dear Truffle with them, they have decided to leave her with us, since we do not have a dog. Just a Siamese Fighting fish. And a wild monkey, also known as my brother.
yeah, that’s my bro…
So Janice and Clive (the family) set off to France, and the day that Janice came over to drop off Truffle was pretty exciting for me, as I love animals and I haven’t had a dog since the age of seven.
Truffle is the perfect dog. I swear, I mean, she sits when you tell her, comes when you call her, and does anything that you ask. She’s cute and soft and incredibly friendly, but she does have her, um, quirks.
When you come back home from school, Truffle, since she’s been alone for the whole day, usually greets us with an impromptu series of whining, and tail wagging, but since she’s a Cocker Spaniel and has a docked tail, her whole derriere ends up wiggling like some sort of Slinky. She also jumps up on her hind legs and holds her paws up like she’s doing some sort of dance, and hops like that from person to person. She also spins. A lot.
Also, in the morning, she is again, a whole different type of specimen. She’ll wake up super early, at around five, and she’ll wiggle around inside the laundry room (which is, I guess, her bedroom) and dances around like a competitor in So You Think You Can Dance. When my dad wakes up at six forty, he’ll open up the door to the laundry room to find socks, but since he’s forgotten he’s taking care of a dog for the next month, he gets a nice blow to the crotch with Truffle’s snout or paw, and gets serenaded by her melodic howling/whining.
Then, he’ll open up my bedroom door to tell me to get up, but again, he’s forgotten about Truffle, who sprints into my room, and jumps onto my bed, right onto my stomach, making me cry out a big “OOOOOF!”, and a a great wheeze because I’ll be winded. Then she’ll climb all over me, my chest, my legs, my arms, and then she’ll put her feet on my cheeks, stretching my face out in a very unattractive manner as if she’s trying to say “Wake up or I’ll keep you like this.”
So I’ll get out of bed, and then she’ll bounce all over me. I am so happy that she’s not a Great Dane or I’ll be most likely dead. Or bulldozed. Or crushed. Whatever.
She also has the worst bladder in the world. I’ll take her on a walk and every twenty steps (yes, I counted) she’ll squat her butt down as take a pee. It’s only every fifty that she’ll take a crap. So I end up taking around a million and two poop bags, which are all tied onto her leash like some sort of banner, and I get the weirdest looks in the park, so I end having to explain that my dog has bladder issues. Personally though, I think she just does it to annoy me.
Truffle with her million and two poop bags. Yeah they take up the length of her leash. And she’s blurry because she was wiggling like mad.
However, the oddest thing about Truffle is her eating tendencies. Yeah, she’ll eat her allotted cup of dog food, but today I came home, thew down my school bag and went to fix myself a snack when my mother called out,
“Go and fix the mess in the bathroom that Truffle made.”
I shrugged my shoulders, not expecting much, maybe a chew toy gone astray or something, but as I stood at the door of the bathroom, my jaw dropped.
Everywhere were tampons. EVERYWHERE.
I am not one to start explaining my menstrual habits on a WordPress blog, but this was quite something. All of my new tampons had been ripped from their box and lay all over the floor, shredded up. Truffle had eaten my tampons. New ones.
However, I was not going to let her fool me, so I made my way slowly (trying to avoid chewed up tampons strewn everywhere) to the garbage can, and alas, there were a few USED (yes, used) tampons shredded up. I felt like barfing. A dog that has a fetish for tampons, albeit used ones? What was wrong with this world?
Then I heard a slight tack tack tack on the hardwood floor and turned around to spot Truffle, in all of her tampon-eating glory, standing at the door of the bathroom, looking at me like it wasn’t a big deal. “What?” she seemed to say “tampons are a good source of protein.”
What? I needed a snack…
So, naturally, you pick tampons. Nice.
I shake my head. “Bad dog,” I say weakly “No a smooth move, Truffle.”
She sneezes and trots off. I roll my eyes. God, and we’ve only had her for three days. I have twenty-something more days to go. Who knows what my supply of tampons will be like then.
I’ll probably have none. Thank god for the corner store.
Truffle running away because she didn’t want me to take a picture of her.
The second featured author is from http://ranchrunamuck.wordpress.com/
About the Author:
This is a blog about life with 12 dogs. I have been blogging since July, when we had to surrender to the fact that #12, who wandered in a little over a month prior, wasn’t going anywhere.
Totally G rated. It’s been a long, strange and on-going trip, but it is filled with a lot of mud and laughter that I wanted to share.
Also, when I get enough followers, perhaps Pedigree (the food we feed) would be interested in sponsoring the page. Do you have ANY IDEA what it costs to feed 12 dogs?
Here is his post (UN-EDITED) which was liked by majority of readers (About 40 %):
News Bulletin from Run A Muck Ranch 9/10/12
The bummer of living with so many dogs is that there are many occurrences worth mentioning but don’t give enough material to write a blog entry. The only way I can see to share them is to do so in News Bulletin form. So here we go, the notables in lesser words as they have occurred this past week:
Vito Mistaken for Trash at the Dump
After spending the day with his ladies in Grayhawk today, (he has a standing date, every Monday) Vito had to accompany The Crazy Dog Lady to the dump.
While emptying her trailer of landscaping debris, The Crazy Dog Lady was approached by a man who asked if she was “throwing away her dog”. Apparently the man’s girlfriend’s chihuahua had died, and if The Crazy Dog Lady was throwing away Vito, he would take him.
Does anyone even know how to respond to this?
AT LEAST OUR EXERCISE EQUIPMENT IS BEING PUT TO GOOD USE…
William Suffers a Near Death Experience
Unless someone is outside with Willy to supervise, he has to be tied up. Otherwise, he goes after the horses and someone, usually Willy, gets hurt.
This morning after breakfast, William was tied out, as is usual. Several minutes later, he began screaming as if being attacked by a bear.
The Crazy Dog Lady ran to his aid…. only to find the reason for such terrified and emotional screams were due to the fact that it had started raining, and raindrops were falling on William’s person.
William was immediately evacuated to the inside of the house before the rain could kill him. Luckily, William was wearing his Thunder Jacket, so he didn’t overreact.
Vito the Killer Chihuahua Proves Too Much for Mortimer
Possessing the same bad habit as William, Mortimer, when not supervised, has to be tied up when outside.
Last night, he was found hog tied, whimpering pitifully, with Vito standing above him issuing threats of bodily harm.
It appears Vito initiated an attack, causing Mortimer to run in a blind panic, tangling himself in his tie out, thereby laying him bare to the wrath of Vito.
In a related story, last week, Vito chased Mortimer into a corner and wouldn’t let him out.
Vito has been told time and time again to pick on dogs his own size, but he refuses citing his right to bear teeth.
NOTE THE FEAR IN MORTY’S EYES OVER BEING FORCIBLY PLACED SO CLOSE TO VITO.
Re-fencing of the Back Yard in Progress, Sort of
In order to get the back yard safer for Mortimer and William, and to negate the need to tie them up when they are not supervised, work has commenced on installing a barrier around the horse stalls. This barrier will allow Morty and Willy to be loose in the back yard, at least when the horses are in their stalls.
Absolute and complete freedom will not be possible until the horses’ turnout area is similarly reinforced. Unfortunately, being financially challenged at present, the humans at Run A Muck Ranch do not have an estimated time of completion for this phase of the project.
Neither The Crabby Man nor The Crazy Dog Lady condone chaining dogs. However, in the case of Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Idiot, not tying them when they are not supervised could mean the difference between life and death on the part of Morty and William. Also, the horses Charlie and Hal have been in the family for many years, and like their canine siblings, deserve to be protected.
DASH! Calls Foul on Inside Ball Play; Mortimer and Slugger Left Whimpering in Protest
Mortimer and Slugger were playing with a tennis ball. Both had their teeth on the ball playing tug o war. Suddenly, and without warning, DASH! appeared out of nowhere and issued a mighty roar. So mighty was the roar, it caused Mortimer and Slugger to drop the tennis ball.
DASH! immediately took possession of the ball and refused to give it back. Due to the size difference, Mortimer being 85 pounds, Slugger 55 and DASH! 9 pounds, clearly Mortimer and Slugger were outmatched, both individually and as a team. As such, DASH! had a ball and the other 2 had nothing.
IT AIN’T EASY GETTING SO MANY DOGS TO POSE, SO THIS IS WHAT YOU GET!
Slugger Makes it to the Final Cut in the Arizona’s Favorite Dog Contest
Having received enough votes to make it onto the leader board, Slugger advances to the final judging in the Arizona’s Favorite Dog Contest.
He will be judged in person on Sunday, September 16, at Oh My Dog! Dog Spa in North Scottsdale, Arizona.
As all prior winners have been purebred small dogs, it is highly unlikely that Slugger will win over all, however, a win in the Large Dog Division would be a win for pit bulls, pit bull mixes and pound puppies everywhere.
DEFINITELY NOT THE BEST PICTURE OF THE SLUG. IT MAKES HIM LOOK LIKE A DOG.
The Crazy Dog Lady has Started The Slugger Book
Since Slugger, on his own, provides enough material for an entire blog, The Crazy Dog Lady is taking the suggestion of several friends, both real and virtual, and will attempt to write a book on this loveable moron. As such, the delete order on his Facebook Page has been cancelled as it has a lot of material helpful in the larger writing endeavor.
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